therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
