the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
