i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
wow bdsm is so cute
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
