Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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