people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
