pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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