They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
