that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
