hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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