chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
