I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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