margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
