I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
