My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize