Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
