I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize