Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I didn't shave. On purpose
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize