when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
