A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize