yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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