I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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