Non-Jews are for practice
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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