Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Terrible idea I love it
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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