Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
