between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
