He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
