did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize