Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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