yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
