You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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