She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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