So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize