To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
