You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
