Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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