my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Someone shattered a urinal.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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