then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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