How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
