kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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