Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
