I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
