Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
