Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
