Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize