we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
