Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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