So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
