That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
