at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
