Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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