I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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