i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
