Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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