Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
