My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
