He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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