is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
