Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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