i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
