i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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