I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
we're so committed to being not committed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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