i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
