I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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