She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
