You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
