I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
