yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
