I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
