I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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