Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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