If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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