I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
