Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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