I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
handjob tips. give me some.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize