Do vagina's smell?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He felt like a one man threesome
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
